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Photo by Brogan Jessup
A wedding celebrates the unique bond of two individuals entering into a marriage. So, while many traditions surround this major life event, know that you aren’t beholden to include anything in your celebration that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are as a couple. And that includes the first dance.
Whether you don’t love two-step, tend to shy away from the spotlight, or just want to make the moment feel more inclusive, there are plenty of reasons you may want to forgo this custom. Whatever your reason may be, know that it’s perfectly legitimate—and that you aren’t alone in the choice! More and more couples are opting to forgo the first dance, and are instead marking the beginning of their reception with a unique alternative.
Thinking that you may want to do the same? Read on for 10 creative and thoughtful first dance alternatives, along with some practical tips for pulling off the swap.
The Best First Dance Alternatives
From celebrating with bubbly to planning fun performances, there are plenty of creative ways to commemorate your wedding day.
Saber a Champagne Bottle
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PHOTO BY INNA YASINSKA
For something festive and fun that involves no dancing, try an elevated twist on the champagne toast. After ensuring all guests have a glass of bubbly in hand, deliver a welcome speech indicating that you can’t wait to celebrate with everyone. Then saber a bottle of champagne, fill your glass as well as your spouse’s, and cheers to the entire group.
Pour a Champagne Tower
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PHOTO BY BOTTEGA 53 STUDIO
Another no-dance idea is the champagne tower. Here, you’ll pour a bottle of bubbles over a pyramid of coupes and cheer as the golden liquid flows down into each glass. The moment will feel free-flowing and just a wee bit raucous—a perfect tone to set for your reception!
Choreograph a Dance
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Photo by Bo Shim
In plenty of twosomes, one person relishes the spotlight while the other tends to shy away from attention. If that’s the case in your relationship, one partner may opt to perform a pre-planned choreographed number (complete with an outfit change and backup dancers!) for the other. Just be sure the “viewer” has a front-row seat to the show.
Do a Group Dance
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Thomas Barwick / Getty Images
Get all of your special people in on the fun by inviting a select group (or the entire wedding!) to the floor to share in your first dance. This can also be a meaningful way to honor the memory of a lost loved one who was not able to attend the nuptials.
Pick an uptempo song that many attendees will know and love, or go with a musical number with cultural significance. (Families of Italian descent, for example, are often excited by the Tarantella.) That way, guests will feel comfortable getting out on the dance floor with or without a partner.
Perform a Song
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Photo by The Foxes Photography
If you’re musically inclined, put on a performance for your guests. Sing a song, play an instrument, or do a bit of both!
Encourage a Singalong
If dancing isn’t your thing, but you still want music to be part of the moment, have your band or DJ play a song the whole crowd will sing along and sway to. If you’ll be including karaoke or dueling pianos as part of your reception entertainment, this can be an especially fun way to introduce the element.
Hire an Interactive Performer
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Photo by Brogen Jessup
You can still put on a show without being the show. For some serious wow-factor, let professional performers such as aerialists, synchronized swimmers, or ballerinas kick off the reception.
Skip Straight to Dessert
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PHOTO BY SEAN COOK PHOTOGRAPHY; CAKE BY SWEET HEATHER ANNE
So you want to do something together as a couple, and you’d like to keep things more traditional, but you really don’t want to do a first dance. Here’s a simple solution: Move up the cake cutting on your wedding day timeline and make that the all-eyes-on-you moment in lieu of swaying to a slow song.
Invite Other Couples to Dance
You can use your first dance as a moment to honor all the married couples in attendance by replacing it with the Anniversary Dance. In this custom, your DJ or band leader will invite all married couples to the dance floor (including you!). As the song progresses, they’ll excuse couples that have been married for certain lengths of time (five hours, one year, five years, 10 years, etc.) until the last couple left dancing is the one that has been married the longest.
Pick Your Own First!
When it comes to unique alternatives to the first dance, your options really are endless. Whether it’s something quirky, like a first lightsaber battle, something sporty, such as a first tennis volley, or something spiritual, such as a prayer or unity ceremony, the “right” choice will be the one that feels most like you.
Practical Tips
In order to ensure your first dance alternative goes off without a hitch, follow these tips.
Practice, Practice, Practice
If you’ll be swapping in a choreographed number or a musical performance, don’t think you can wing it! Spend time rehearsing and you’ll feel much more comfortable when the big moment finally arrives.
Keep Your Vendors in the Loop
This is especially true of your DJ or band. Be sure they know what the alternative plan is, when it is happening, whether or not it is a surprise, and, perhaps most importantly, why you are choosing it. Once they know the backstory, they’ll be more careful with honoring your wishes.
Make What’s Happening Clear to Guests
If you want your first dance alternative to include other guests or be an all-eyes-on-you moment, be strategic about when it occurs during your wedding reception. You’ll want a moment when all guests are seated and/or by the dance floor and ready to pay attention, such as at the beginning of dinner. Guests should be able to clearly hear your DJ or emcee, and your DJ or emcee will want to clearly explain what’s happening. They may want to kick things off by saying, “In lieu of a first dance, Parker and Taylor now invite you to direct your attention towards X, where Y will be happening.” This way, guests will understand that something special is occurring, and they’ll pay full attention.
Conclusion
In sum, if the idea of taking dance lessons to prepare for a traditional first dance sounds more like a slog than something you’ll enjoy, know that you don’t have to! There are plenty of unique alternatives to the first dance to explore, and, if properly planned for and practiced in advance, they can make for a wonderful and meaningful addition to your wedding day. Find the “first” that feels right for you, and you’ll be guaranteed to look back on it with fond memories.
